Each day I have a view of the ocean from my bedroom window. I see the ocean peaking through in the morning light. All the rays greeting me in the morning from my bed. My body struggling to adjust, not wanting to enjoy the full moment ... holding back .. staying in the shadow of my room. I still want to hide, and let others shine in my light. I'm still discovering myself and the new women I am becoming. I still deeply want to be perfect and still beat myself up from making mistakes.
I took friday off .... to rest and heal. Take a break from the desk ... try to turn my mind off from the chatter. I needed to recover from thursday, sometimes ... when I spend time with my boss I start to second guess myself ... and my methods. I feel lost ... I've been feeling lost again since early may.
I walking a road with no directions ... and I so want directions ... organization and someone to tell me it's ok. I need to feel ok ... with myself .... I'm just fine the way I am. And I am whole and loved.
Rob and I spent an extra long weekend with each other ... we went to Denman Island and Hornby on Friday. It was wonderful to see some of the other islands on the coast. We shared a lovely lunch on Hornby. The beach on the bay was magical and sandy. I truly enjoyed how the locals have reclaimed spaces as they had built a public tennis court by the ocean.
I really loved sleeping in ... and not rushing out of bed ...eating breakfast and dinner together and small day trip.
I'm a natural planner ... and I'm slowly saving .. towards a leave .. allowing me to travel. I'm looking forward to seeing the world and taking a break from the corporation.
Feeling grateful for the day to day ... my career .. this house and the ocean and Rob.
No comments:
Post a Comment