I'm counting down, applying. I'm looking at the mountains, the last obstacles in my way home. I've applied for two jobs one in Vancouver and one in Victoria. :) I'm hoping to be home by Christmas. I know in my heart it's time to go, my life here is slowly ending. I'm now living on borrowed time. I'm trying to be more present, I felt it when I coming back from the gym gliding down from the escalator. I'm living the life I want to live anymore in Edmonton, the last six months I've living for everyone else, work, Elizabeth, friends and my depression. I'm not sure where I am going and what will happen to me. I know this is right for me....
Last night went with a group of friends to breaking dawn the latest twilight movie. Sitting at the table I realize these moments are amazing and I love my friends, it hurts because it will not be same soon. I am getting use to the uncomfortable. I loved the movie, it reminded me why I loved the first one so much. I forgot how much the first one made me believe in the power of love and how falling in love feels. I am getting closer to letting someone in my life. I am closer to accepting myself.
My yoga practice is strong lately, I can't believe I can now touch my toes, so many obstacles melting away. I enjoy each class, it brings a small bit of peace into my life. I began to let go of how yoga can shape my body but embraced how it can shape my mind. It is not so challenging and frustrating, I just breath. I ask myself...what is holding me back....what I need to let go of....those negative stories are not happening now. My soul smiles. I can be braver.
I had a melt down in Erica's office last week. I lost control of my emotions, I don't regret it, I just need to manage the negative stories in my mind. So much is happening and I have to accept not all of what is going to happen is going to be easy or happen smoothly.
Tomorrow is another monday :) I'm in love with my life, and acting alittle drunk :)
No comments:
Post a Comment