Heart You

It's Friday and I heart you and I want to feel you. I want to wrap my arms and legs around you. Instead I am here alone. Alone for another 6 weeks. I feel it ...the mountains, the snow...the winter. My exam distance in the back of mind. I question my pre test tomorrow. But I am feeling better what will happen will come. I booked a flight back to Edmonton for the new year Jan 10. So long away, but it's all good. I am excited. It will be over 3 months since I have seen him. I feel pain and need to reconnect. Mostly my mind goes over the relationship.... drifting. Not always in the best way.

I had a good day at work till I read my min term review. I felt sad and stressed. I let a couple of words flood my emotions and take over. I know... this year I have not give 100 percent to my job. Looking over an article I realized I was stuck in my career and it was time to move on.....and try something new. This is something I can do. I feel fearful...but tonight might be longest night but I go into the light. 

I have next week off to study. This is the first week I have taken off .... in years and not travelled anywhere. I feel relaxed and happy. 

I went to get my cards read, might have been the best $37.50 I have spent in a while. I was able to put things together. I guess. But I left feelings pretty good about myself. Will I be back in Edmonton in the summer...will I be part of a ready made family? Tonight he has my heart. It loves him dearly.