Feels like fall and the rain season has started on the North Shore. My hips are so tight from running my body aches and misses the weekly yoga sessions. It needs to breath and exhale. I am having trouble balancing my commitments running, yoga, studying. I don't have enough time for everything. So my body is suffering in tightness. Each step it moans...I know..the CFA is beating me up.
I am half through the CFA marathon, and less than 70 days till exam date. I can already feel it ....I can feel it coming. I know...I will be prepared. Each day I think it about, almost every moment the exam is haunting my mind. CFA is my new boyfriend. It seduces me, makes me nervous makes my mind weak. Takes away my energy and makes me angry. Each emotion I face...each emotion feel deep inside of me...I know I can do..I know..I am half way there ... the story I tell myself...I am taken care of ...I will be ok...trust and love.
The Lonsdale Quay was busy today with lotsa back to school shopping, I was nearly squished trying to buy fresh soup for lunch. I sat by the water, ate tiger butter and talked to Stacy. I wondered what my life would be life if I had friends like Stacy living in Vancouver.
Today was a slow sunday, woke up waked Oprah, studied and went to the market. My lover called this afternoon to check in. Since August he has made himself more attentive since I have pulled back from him. I realized after my birthday, I would be ok without him. Was the relationship worth saving .... if he can't call on my birthday. I was not so sure. However, I've noticed a change in him...since Tofino he has made an effort to step up and be a partner. He asked me last week again to move back to Edmonton. I am still uncertain if I will move back or if I want to move ....I don't have to decide today...
Today I am at peace with everything in my life...all feels good and quiet and I can handle that.
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