I felt my journal was growing ... and I was growing as a person ... since addressing all the thoughts in my mind. Over 13 months... I feel I am going backwards... into a deep darkness of becoming impatient demanding ... losing focus ...
I want to feel there is something bigger .. for me .. other than starring .. why is right answer so difficult to communicate. Why is right sometimes so difficult. My mind gets bored easily ... as if I have mental ADD ...
I closed my eyes this morning ... I mediated .. waited ... listening ... I miss my body .. I have no connection with .. I no connection with my spirt ... I've stepped on a train .. I want to crawl off ... get away from targets ... agendas ...
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