Future Perfect!!!!!

Three Memo Notes to Myself

Do not worry, YOU ARE OK!
Do not worry, THINGS WILL WORK THEMSELVES OUT
Do not worry, YOU CAN NOT CONTROL THINGS YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OFF!

I am moving to 104th street week, it is a big move only because i have so much to pack. It is also kinda sad because i am leaving the apartment I have lived in for the last four years but it is time to go and move on...

I am excited but so exhausted this week. I don't really know what I am going to do..

I feel right now there are many unfinished things right now...things that are just out of my control. What to do...what to do...I must be patience I must be calm. I can not control these things. Trying to control them will be only made in poor judgement.

Lets recap this week, I wrote my DFC and I know I failed it..cause I did not study for it right :( I have peace with needing to rewrite it...I had a nervous breakdown last friday and panic attack cried on my friend Mark's shoulder...felt better..

Wednesday I went to the Rose and Crown drank to much....took at nap on a park bench by the hotel Macdonald. I felt somehow better but not to sure...Thursday night I gave someone food and myself food poisioning..Did not feel well after that night...it also left me really confused...what I'm I going to do about this shit????

Friday I went to see the Trews at Capital EX, and sat in my friend's Mike back yard and drank more beer till the early morning...Somehow I made it to spin class...and rode the bike barely hanging on...than...I had to get my hair done at Icon...it looks great but again I nearly feel asleep in my chair..

I have Nine Inch Nail tickets for tommorow night and I am so excited...it is going to be fun and more beer!!!!!!i have to watch my money cause I am moving and stuff...I am taking my power back..It will be ok...

My birthday is in a couple of weeks, I don't know whether to be excited or sad, I don't know what to think right now...I just need some time and some time off week..the end of august will be good..I will get to go home. I need to sleep. I feel so overwhelmed. I can do this...

Na Na Na Stairs and More

Hey, here is another Saturday..I do not have much planned this weekend..just hanging out and studying. Today I went to spin class..rode the bike really hard and ran for half an hour later. Later I did some stairs with Jen and a walk, had dinner at pita pit..and bubble tea.

This week I have had alot of house fires..first the toaster over..which was a gift from when I lived in Kitsalino had to go.. :( I finally threw it out...honestly it was a fire hazord. It was going to burn down the apartment. I knew it had to go...than my flat iron fizzled so...I have no toaster oven and no flat iron...I am going to get one tommorow at Chatters. And maybe some ice cream.

I feel ok ....work was so slow yesterday because the fourth of july holiday no markets! It was nice to have a break :) I can't believe it is July. It was has been crazy hot! I have had a horrrible time breathing on my runs. I can not get enough air into them. It almost hurts and my whole body physically hurts. It is like breathing in glass. Today it finally rained a bit but really it did nothing. The city has not cooled off at all..:( So I had to work extra hard in spin class. I finally a weighted ball for my ab work out so I do it at home if the gym is super busy.

I can't decide right now if I want to be anti social or not. I am not sure. I am not sure what is going on...I thinking of flying to Vancouver next weekend. I need to get out of the city. I am going crazy here!

In the next month I will need some courage! I feel like lotsa of stuff is going to happen but I am not sure what that is...

Trader Training Wheels

I am in training again this week. It is an interesting break....from work and learning. Today I am so tired burned out...but i have to study again! My stomach hurts also... and my neck, I have hurt it doing crunches so I think that is why I feel dizzy today. I also just ate fruit salad for lunch. I need to escape for a couple days or a week!

I do not have to much planned for this weekend. I think just spin class...and maybe some bubble tea. I was super busy last weekend with shopping with stacy and a movie..and now it is back to business.

I am not sure why i am tired today:( I went to bed last night at 8:30 and woke up at 6. it could be the heat. All I can hear outside is the people coming to the football game across the street. You know you are confused when life throws you a curve ball and you are not sure what to do...