Last day in September...."sigh" fall again, this are not is chaotic just dull...you know when you don't know what to do..but you feel stuck and can make a move but I just can't. Yeah that is me!!! I am can't choose and I can't decide...I hate having so many choices and options! I just had my hair lighted and spent the after noon this Rene and I broke yet again another heart. It just was not there! Does that make me a bad person! I think it was worst I let him pay for all the drinks! The funny thing is I told him I was bitch straight from the start! Now...I also made the mistake of talking about another guy I only went out with once or twice claiming I could not see him cause he was boring. At three in the morning...a sad little voice now askes me...I'm boring right...i was like "no" your not but I am just confused and unstable! I should have just told him the truth...I felt no spark..and without a spark...I am just not interested. I think I might just like the attention.....I feel horrible...I use guys for this...I really only like..a small of couple of them. Lets be honest..i only ever loved Lindsay and Rob..those two were the only two..who really made me excited!
Work has been better and more stable...I am thinking of flying home for thanksgiving it would be nice to spend some time with everyone on the coast! Oh yeah and see my babies...
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