I am looking for some new pics to add here....but i can not find the digital camera. Today i am full of engery, the last couple weeks, I have had more than ever in the last coupel of months crazy huh. I feel my depression is finally lifting. Sometimes it just rolling in like a fog I can not control and overwhelms me. Mostly I suffer from anxiety now...which occurs almost every monday. I guess cause it is the start of the week but I am not sure why. I just find mondays very isolating, lonely and stressful. (This could be also due to pressures at work). I screwed up on a foreign exchange transfer on friday. I have been trying to so hard not to do that...cause it screws up...so many different things. At least we caught it early before it did to much damage.
I have been trying hard to avoid being placed on meds. I do not want to be anti-depressants again. The effexor did not work. I do worry about Jes being on effexor so long...it was difficult for him to stop taking them. I found my brain had a hard time adjusting without the meds. Heather feels the meds make make a difference...in my anxiety. It is only when I feel very anxish do I think I need them. I just think I need to go through this...I am getting so much more better, each week is easier and my work has improved alot. I am not so spacey and withdrawnin.
I've been listening to alot of British New Wave. It is great and often reflects how I feel. The music has a happy beat and depressing lyrics. It is kinda the way I feel, like I am the happiest depressed person.....I am not sure what to do with this, I was told this years ago when I went to therapy years ago.
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