I'm searching again, I'm feeling something ... here I am almost 45. I feel halfway through life .. which is a strange feeling. I don't know how this happened but those who came before me are right, this comes faster than you will think.
I'm no longer close to my twenties .. I do not feel close to my thirties, here I am. I'm deeply focused on the middle passage, what this means, how I feel ... everything feels very different. I'm at an interesting place in life. For the first time, I can buy whatever I want ... travel the way I want to travel, but I do not look twenty anymore, I find myself watching people navigate their twenties, did I miss out on something.
It a Friday evening, in July, the wind is blowing and weather has cooled. Georgia is getting older, I think I have said this before ... she's almost ten, I can only hope we have more good years.
In some ways I'm braver than ever, feeling comfortable in my own shoes.
This fall, I'm planning to travel to Indonesia, my heart has always wanted to go there.
Last May, I went back to Tallian, I don't know why I keep coming back to Estonia and why I still want to return, there is something there that keeps calling me back. I feel comfortable there, the ocean ... the stillness, the city has grief and no idea how to express it. kinda like myself.
